Some Lessons I've Learned via Motherhood
Happy Mother's Day!
I've always wanted to be a mom. Always.
Being a mother is one of the greatest blessing of my life.
It has brought teamwork to our marriage, refinement to the person I am, and joy that I never knew I was missing.
By nature we are pretty selfish beings. We aren't really inclined to change or be our best all of the time.
If not prompted by something, would we ever?
Sometimes change is painful, learning is hard, growth is uncomfortable.
It takes something greater than ourselves to create a willingness to subject ourselves to this.
Our children are this thing.
We humble ourselves for them, we think of them first. In them is something worth sacrificing for, changing for, being better for.
That change of perspective, that shift of self is what allows for immense growth and experience. That sacrifice and selfless love is what stretches our hearts out, so they can be filled with great reward.
It's hard, it's busy, it's work, but it's also rewarding beyond measure, incredibly fulfilling, and for the most part happy, loving and joyful!
I love being a mom. I love my kids so much!
Here are some things I've learned via motherhood... and some past glimpses of them!
- Hearing 'Mom, you are bootiful' never gets old! E went through a phase, about a year ago, of telling me this a lot, of his own free will, at the most random of times. I needed to hear it a lot at that point! It seems that little boy could sense when I was struggling and reminded me of this. He doesn't say it as much anymore, but it still melts my heart when he does!
- When I first had Q my good friend Amy Conlan came over to visit me. As I handed my sweet girl over, my friend got all awkward and told me she didn't know how to hold her. I reassured her no one really does, but these little one's don't really care how you hold them, they just need to be held.
- I may never grow out of the need to snuggle a new little baby.
- Pizza night is totally necessary a couple times a month, if not once a week!
- When I first had Q I was quite humbled and amazed. Humbled by the unexpected. We read books we imagine how it will be, but nothing can quite prepare you for your new reality. Amazed that my new baby didn't care that I'd not done any of this before... because I was doing it, and I was her mom, she felt taken care of, and that is what she needed.
- And even though I thought I knew what to expect with 2, 3 and 4... the unexpected is what we learn to expect! We are all different!
- It feels so good to make a little one feel better, and sometimes when my love isn't enough to stop the crying... a Popsicle will usually do the trick!
- Experience gives us confidence.
- 'Nuggles' pick me up all of the time. What?
- It is important to say 'I'm sorry'. This is one I feel strongly about. I remember harboring feelings of judgement, pain and anger, because people didn't say 'I'm sorry' to me. We can restore feelings of trust and love when we own up to what we did and say 'I'm sorry'. I want my kids to do it... and if I expect it from them... I do it too! I am far from perfect. This is an easy way to get us back to good ground, keep us close.
- I can be forgiven. Becoming the person I want to be will take my lifetime, I'm sure. How terribly inconvenient for these little people that all of my frailties and imperfections are not harnessed and perfected when they came into my life! I have made mistakes! I have lost my temper. I have been pushed to the edge. I have felt lost. I have felt out of control. I have gotten physical. I have cried.
It is one of the greatest blessings of my life to feel so loved, that despite myself, I can be forgiven... so easily, so freely, with no grudge or judgement held against me, by those that I love most. There is no other feeling like that genuine love.
- I have all the confidence in the world my mom has always done the very best she could. You don't always see that as the child... Parenthood gives you that perspective.
- Being goofy is a good thing! I love to play with my kids. E told me the other day that I'm a 'silly mom'. Laughter brings so much joy. It can be created with play. Three Little Pigs
- Messes clean up, we wash, broken things can be replaced. I regret that I didn't say this to myself more in early motherhood! All too often I found myself upset at things that really don't matter much long term.
- Teaching kids to work is hard work, but I believe it's worth it.
- One of the last things I want to be is a hypocrite. Having kids brings this right into focus...often! If I teach them something I'd better be doing that myself!
- There is nothing like having someone look at you like this... just because you are you. It is magical.
- And as I learned this morning, as my kids all gave me their heartfelt gifts, there is nothing quite like my kids being able to articulate their tender feelings for me as they grow older. Talk about a stretched and rewarded heart! Mine is so full. I love these little people!
I've said it many times and will continue to say it! It is the greatest blessing of my life!
Today at church I heard this perfect quote that summarizes my earlier thoughts...
I was going to make a printable for you, but this nice lady already has!
Happy Mother's Day to you that are mother's, and you that influence as mother's do.