Marriage Is More Than That...

My mom came to visit us in January.  I loved it.  I love having here here.

We got to look through homes, pack and clean.  We shopped, went out to lunch, did puzzles, watched movies.  It was wonderful!  I wish we lived closer to Grandma, without having to actually leave where we are!

While she was here my friend Andrea wanted to join us for a lunch.  We went out to Panera and visited together.  

I love Andrea!  We are from the same area, she knows my family, played volleyball with my big sister, knows my brothers and people from Granger High.

She, with her giving heart, told my mom the reason she wanted to go to lunch was so that she could tell my mom that she had impacted Andrea.

She told my mom that she admired her.  She remembers getting ready for volleyball matches and seeing my mom and dad coming into the gym, my dad holding onto my mom's arm as he hobbled along.  

She wanted my mom to know that she and my dad impacted people just by being who they are.  Most of the time unknown to them.

It was such a sweet and tender gift to give to my mom.  We shed a few tears right there in Panera!

After my mom had left I stopped Andrea at church to thank her.  It was well timed to give that to my mom, her heartfelt gift of thanks.  We don't realize the impact of our words, and heartfelt compliments.  They lift.  I was so grateful to Andrea for giving that.

As we chatted a bit more she expanded on her thoughts.  

We talked about how, as teenagers we have these illusions and inexperienced thoughts about what love is.  We get swept away with attention and looks and romance and new love.  

As a teen, seeing my  mom and dad come into the gym, my dad handicapped and my mom being the leader it left an impression on her that has stuck with her today.

Marriage is more than that...

Those words have resonated with me for the last while, I needed to hear them, and I have been able to share them with other's that have needed that reminder...

Marriage is indeed more than attention, and looks and romance and new love.  

Marriage is making a promise to someone, for me... an eternal promise, with God in the center, that reaches beyond death... and we never let go of that, even when life throws hard things at us.

Because being with this one person teaches us how to be better.  

This unit is a safe place to learn and change and grow, knowing that we do it together, never walking away.

Marriage is loving your spouse through their own handicaps and them loving us through ours.  It is reminding each other of promises and commitments and accountability.  Things we care about with people who hold our hearts. 

It is extending love, working together, enduring, communicating, no matter how difficult and seemingly useless.  

At times this is when having God at the center saves us... we need a third party in there to hold us up when our spouse can't, to reassure us when both parties feel helpless, to hold our promise together when we both feel like we can't.

When we remember and feel those things, marriage is full of joy and happiness.  It is a peaceful place full of harmony.  It is a place where we give and care for and serve, because we are so grateful to have that.  So many don't.

My dad's stroke deeply impacted our family, in countless ways.  Together, my parents example of eternal marriage is evidence not only of their love, but their faith.

I am so grateful to my parents, for their example... even now, still after my dad has passed on.

There have been times in my own marriage that I have lost sight of what it's all about.  I have been on the edge, ready to throw in the towel and give up... more than once!  

I'm so glad in those times that my best friend holds onto me and reminds me of my promises.  He hasn't given up on me despite my handicaps.  I won't give up on him either.

We are a good team.