This is going to hurt!

Could life possibly be like childbirth?  I've been thinking this week that indeed it is! 

Why have I been thinking about pain this week?  I taught my lesson in church today and it was on kindness.  What does that have to do with pain?  Yes, sometimes it is painful to be kind, but that isn't where I'm going with this!

I had a couple of experiences this week that left me feeling frustrated, angry, hurt.  We all have them.  It was as I was reflecting and thinking about my lesson that it came to the forefront of my mind... It is tough to be kind when I don't feel good inside.  Right? 

I mentioned the school thing this week, there are also a myriad of other things I was feeling.  That is life right?  Up, down and all around!

So the focus of my lesson soon became focused on our hearts.  If they are clean and pure, happy, free from pain and judgement, anger and frustration, what flows out of them will naturally be the same.

Certainly our hearts aren't always cut deeply, we get stressed and weighed down with silly things, we get caught in a downward spiral as little things gravitate together compiling themselves into one large negative mass!  How can we combat that?  How can we continually make our hearts whole, peaceful, kind?

As I continued through my week, I pondered a bit, as I continued to feel...

This week as I sat in Bible Study (institute) a classmate relayed a personal story of her heartbroken sister that has lost her own faith.  I hugged this classmate after.  I saw her pain and actually empathized w/ the pain of her sister.  I felt love for a woman I've never met and some understanding.  Her pain is great and in an effort to stop feeling the pain she has turned from God.  I get it.  I get any attempt to stop feeling pain, believe me!

My wonder is, does that work?  Does trying to stop belief in something you have your whole life take any pain away?  My experience has taught me no.  I have also attempted to turn away from God because of pain I've felt.  Not only did it fail in relieving any pain, it added confusion and an inner war, trying to convince myself of something I didn't really feel to be true.

Last summer I had an incredible experience as I coached my sister's delivery of her daughter.  I was so anxious to get to UT before she had her baby.  I did.  The next morning Cand was in the hospital being induced.  Did she want to deliver natural (w/o pain meds)?  I knew she'd talked about it.  'This is why you are here!'  Her husband said.

These were my words for her, as I've delivered three of my four this way...

Prepare your mind!  THIS WILL HURT!!!  It is like pain you don't experience everyday.  It is intense.  It hurts!

BUT... don't be afraid!!  Fear always makes things worse, it intensifies things doesn't it? 

It hurts, but the pain goes away.  Yes, over and over again it hurts, but it goes away, you get relief through the process! 

Lean on your partner.  Although none can take the pain from you, you will receive strength when you feel weak, in mind, body and spirit.

You CAN do this!  Shift your thinking.  You can.  It will hurt, but that doesn't mean you can't do it! 

I can't describe the joy you will feel after you have felt the birth, the reward of your child.  I just can't.  It will be one of the most treasured experiences of your life.

photos by me!

To be a witness of her experience, to watch her, helpless to take any pain, only to help her remember the things I just said, as it all became real, was one of the most treasured experiences of my life.

This experience is drenched with life analogy.  And, as I've gone through this week I've thought about this.

This life will HURT!  Not always, but we will feel pain!  Pain certainly isn't pleasant and we go to great lengths to try to avoid it, sometimes missing out on great things because we are afraid to risk feeling it.  Trying to escape pain sometimes leads to irresponsible behavior, rash decisions, loss of self control.  We often hurt others even w/o meaning to as we, ourselves hurt. 

Why are we afraid of it?  What is so bad about it?  Does our fear intensify it and make it larger than life?  Yes, it's unpleasant, but, it goes away!  It comes back, but you can feel relief again and again.

Where do you turn when you feel pain?  I thought about the woman, in pain, that turned from God.  One choice, one time, turning to many times.  Why not turn TO Him?  Why don't we believe that He will take that from for us?  Part of our human experience is this emotion that sometimes seems so humanly unbearable.  Did he give us this emotion to keep us humble?  To continually call us back to Him, to ask for help, to lean on our partner.  Would we forget all about Him if we never felt pain?  Do you believe He will strengthen you so you can bear your pain?  Do you believe that he carries you while you are crushed by your feelings?  Is He your partner?

This week I've thought about my relationship with my personal partner, my Savior.  Why do I wait so long before I lean on Him?  He's ready standing there waiting for me to lean.  I will receive no strength from my partner if I don't lean on Him.

There is much JOY in life!  This far outweighs the moments of pain through life!

I appreciated this lesson, this week.

Kindness is a matter of the heart.  This is a character trait that we practice and develop.  Engage in it!  Be aware of it!

When you feel like you can't or aren't being kind, figure out why.  What is going on in your heart?

Fix it!  Turn it around.  If it's bigger, lean on your partner.  Rely on the strength of our Savior.  Seek Him.  This is how we come to know Him!

This has been a good week!  I have learned much!  I am thankful for promptings, I am thankful for answers.  I am thankful for the good that fills the holes.  I am thankful for truth.  I am thankful for repentance.  I am eternally grateful for my Savior.  I love life!